o, I was recently offered a job and will be on the US payroll. My wife also works for Aramco but is on the Saudi payroll, and she works at the Dhahran main camp. I was told to expect housing in RT...however, is there a way to change this and request DHA for our housing needs so that my wife doesn't have to commute so far to work everyday?
You can certainly ask, but dozens of people commute from RT and ABQ to Dhahran every day because there is insufficient housing in DH. They're all waiting their turn for Dhahran housing to become available. Like I said, you can always ask, but the answer most likely will be no.
Not sure that would be such a good idea. If she is a Saudi national living in all female accommodation, men are not allowed in the building. Social visits occur frequently, but a man actually moving in to all female accommodations would draw undesirable attention and could put both employee's jobs in jeopardy. All it takes is one complaint and a photo of your car sticker and trouble is headed your way. Probably not worth it.
If, however, the female employee had her own apartment not located in the all-female dormitories, the situation would be different.
Is she Saudi? Does she have marriage permission? If so, then she may be able to help from her end. My husband is Saudi, and I am American. He said that if I got a job in Dhahran (like in my field which is chemical engineering (would probably be Saudi payroll since he's Saudi)), then his job would be transferred to Dhahran immediately/automatically, but for us, I don't think we would get housing in Dhahran compound unless we could bid to get in since he's Saudi. So, maybe since she is working in Dhahran, they will move you to Dhahran to be with your wife. but, if you don't have government marriage permission to be married to a Saudi, then you will always face difficulties in Saudi...